I finally decided what I would like to name this blog, RAW.
I would love to be able to layout all the details of our life and what's going on...really going on the inside of us. My friend Angela always asks, "how are you doing...really?" I love that. She wants to get the very heart of a person. None of us are doing fine, really. But we say we are because maybe we don't want everyone to know what is really going on or how we feel or maybe that we failed in some way. It's a mask. As my personality test told me - i was wearing a mask when I took the test. I am a firm beliver that people were meant to share lives with each other. We learned that so well in seminary. Life can be horrible and wonderful. If we don't share it, we are never going to know that maybe someone else has the same stuggles or joys. We connect so deeply on some levels with people only when we share our lives.

Now being careful of who you share life with is essential, but not sharing it with anyone and not being honest is another.

I will most likely not name this blog RAW. Somethings are not meant to be written for the world to see.

But I will tell you that I learned a few things about myself this week (again with personality test! AND....it's not first one I taken!) haha! Okay - back to what I was saying! On Wednesday I got to take a half day off. I had a few errands to run and during all this running around, I realized something about myself, that Brent had been telling me for a long time, was true! Only I guess I didn't want to believe it. I am not even sure what to do with this realization. Thursday that realization became even more true! We realized a few things that are a result of our adoption. Not bad....just reality. And I never knew how much I wanted to change some things until I couldn't. I can't do anything about it. God has it all in place, so we at least take comfort in the fact that we are in God's will because we can't change anything. And I know that God is not going to change it, but He will change us.
You may wonder how I know He won't change, we know this because of the way of adoption. I know - it's all vague - but it makes sense to me.

That same night, Brent spoke at the high school baccalaureate. When he spoke, he was talking to himself and me. Kinda of ironic. I don't know if the anyone else need to hear that, but we did. We thought it was great that God gave Brent all these words that was intended for graduating seniors and we were the ones that needed to hear the most. That's how God likes to work. He's so creative.

I kept up the week with new realiztions about myself and ended the week being grateful for my friends and family. If you truely knew me, you would not want to be my friend. I don't know if I would be my friend!!

Thank you Jesus for Your ever abundant grace, mercy, and love and that You are changing me daily to be like You!

My sister-in-law went out on Friday to eat and get a pedicure. We never made it to the pedicure (that is for another post!) But she said in her times with Lord is has been a lot of trials. She was wondering what is coming. I remember before we left Texas that was the same for me. We heard Tammy Trent speak and then Steven Curtis Chapman's family lost Maria that May and he did a concert at the church we attended later that July. All these things I kept learning were about trails and bad things.

The hing I remember most from Tammy Trent and SCC was that they were able to praise the Lord. Simply because He is YAHWEH, JEHOVAH. He is God and He does not change. It matters not our struggles on earth....we can still praise Him for He is GOD.

"YAHWEH" - by Tal and Acacia

Gaze
I want to Gaze at you
Soak
Soak in all you do
Sit
so simply at your feet
Listen
To your voice so sweet
And Let time Pass Away

(Chorus)
As I simply Praise
Yahweh
My Lord I cry
Jehovah Elohim
The Lord Most High
and When my hands are raised
My Knees they fall
As I simply Praise
Jehovah

Cry
As I see your blood stains
Overwhelmed
As I see your pain
And I'll dance, dance, dance
Because I am set free
You are my conqueror
Jehovah Nissi
And Let time Pass Away

(Chorus)

Do I believe that you're my God
That You're all I need That you're all I need
Do I believe that you'll sit down
and be crowned my king for eternity
Do I believe that you're my God
That You're all I need That you're all I need
Do I believe that you'll sit down
and be crowned my king for eternity
Do I believe that you're my God
That You're all I need That you're all I need
Do I believe that you'll sit down
and be crowned my king for eternity
So Let time Pass Away

(Chorus)

My Daddy, My Abba, My Best Friend
YAHWEH