So here's the deal....we almost adopted 4 kids...again. The same 4 as before. We had a to have our medicals updated. They added a few tests and and x-ray. When we sent in our medicals, it was necessary to have our dossier reviewed again. This time we were told if we wanted the 4 siblings we could have them. What? Shock.
So okay, we thought and prayed about it for weeks. I mean sincerely prayed. Sometimes I say I pray about things and then I really don't. This decision affects too many lives to count, mainly 4 or 6 if you count us, and I have learned my lesson about not praying about things in my/our life. I am perfect at messing up my own life, so I didn't want to mess up four other lives. Especially since thier lives have been such a mess already! I was even doing Pricilla Shirer's study "Discerning the Voice of God" during this time. Everything Brent and I were reading and talking about seemed to lead to make the decision to adopt the 4 kids.
This brings us to December 1. We drove down to our agency to talk with them and tell them we had decided to move forward. This meeting set all kinds of things in order. Write a letter of intent, get a psychology update, print off a few forms to fill out, find a organziation in which to send tax deductable donations, etc. Even that night we had a man call wanting to know where to send their donation - we hadn't told him that we had decided to go ahead in the process. A few other events were happening that we thought was confirmation from the Lord. Everything is going smoothly, except, my spirit is twisted. That's the only thing was so weird. It was not the feeling I expected after saying yes to them. I literally felt as though my spirit was being twisted around inside me. I couldn't figure it out.
Fast forward to December 15, we are meeting with our psychologist. The 15th just happened to be the last appointment she had open for the year.
It was a cold, snowy, rainy day. I love days like that! The meeting went so well. I actually thought she would say we were out of our minds! haha!
Our agency is right across from her office, so we stepped over to say hello. Pat saw us through the door and motioned for us to come in. It was the kind of motioning where you instantly know something is wrong. We walked to the office and Anne told us that our letter of intent had been rejected. At first, I wasn't sure what she meant. I just thought, okay, so we write another one? No. That was not the meaning. There were some changes in Peru. Without disclosing all the details, there seem to be some political moves when our letter of intent was submitted and it was rejected. We had been told this was a done deal. But now there was no deal at all! We weren't really sure what to think about the news. What do we do now? We didn't know, we still don't really know.
Confusion was the main feeling of the day. Had we "heard" wrong? What about all the things we thought were confirmations along the way? What does this mean? It is still confusing and sad that children's lives seem to be in the hands of political parties. However, I know the secret: children's lives, all lives, are really in the hands of the Creator. He holds this world. Nothing happens unless He says yes. Charles H. Spurgeon has great quote:"Wherever God in His providence guides you, let it be your joy to know that He is too wise to err - too good to be unkind." ---
You, we, must believe God. So what did we decide?
We decided to keep our home study update the same - adopt 1- 4 children (siblings) and change the ages to 0 - 11. Who knows what will happen next? We just keep going and waiting and sincerely praying.
We still have the organization set up in which to give tax deductable donations. If you would like to give, please leave me a comment and I'll send you the info.
I know this is long! Just wanted to let you know what was going on with the adoption.
